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Consider using these tactics when dealing with people who are difficult:

"Kill" with kindness. Treat everyone well regardless of how people treat you. It's difficult to treat a thoughtful person thoughtlessly.

Listen and respond. Allow the difficult person to fully express his/her feelings. Then acknowledge your awareness of the situation, describe what you see and hear, reveal what you think and feel, and say what you want.

Don't take a position--deal with a need. Find out what motivates a person, so you can offer alternative ways of solving the problem. Chances are the difficult person has simply adopted the most obvious solution.

Accept blame. More often than not, you have played some role in bringing about the behaviors others subject you to. Admit what your fault is quickly and emphatically. Whenever you shoulder your share of the blame, others are more likely to own up to theirs.



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